Marlboro Man is musing

Lonely wolf seeks lonely wolf for joint walks through the hills, for tending sheep and similar activities. It’s real hard to live in Marlboro Country, isn’t it? The ad guys just ask for too much. “You are Marlboro Man, then act the part, please.” “Asshole”, Marlboro Man is thinking and acting the part. But no matter where he sets his eyes, all he sees is: countryside. They really have lots of it – unlike Manhattan or Down Town Detroit. What is Marlboro Man thinking, when he looks like this? Perhaps:

Come to where the flavour is. Come to Marlboro Contry.
Come to where the flavor is. Come to Marlboro Contry.
  • „Hopefully that damm horse is not going to piss on me.“
  • „I hate horses.“
  • „The gras is always greener at home.“
  • „Wonder what kind of clouds these are. Cirrus? Cumulus?“
  • „Next summer I get a college degree and be done with this shit.“

Der Marlboro-Mann denkt nach

Einsamer Wolf sucht anderen einsamen Wolf zwecks gemeinsam auf dem Hügel rumtreiben und Schafe hüten und so. Ist schon ein Jammer in diesem Marlboro Country. Die Werbefuzzis verlangen einfach zu viel von einem. „Sie sind der Marlboro-Mann, also schauen Sie gefälligst auch so!“. „Arschloch“, denkt sich der Marlboro-Mann und schaut eben so. Aber egal, wohin er auch schaut: überall nur Landschaft. Da haben die hier wirklich viel davon, nicht so wie in Castrop-Rauxel oder Hannover-Laatzen. Was denkt der Marlboro-Mann eigentlich so, wenn er schauen soll? Eine kleine Auswahl, was dem Ur-Raucher bei der Werbeaufnahme durch den Kopf geht:

Come to where the flavour is. Come to Marlboro Contry.
Come to where the flavor is. Come to Marlboro Contry.
  • „Hoffentlich pisst mich jetzt der verdammte Gaul nicht an“
  • „Ich hasse Pferde“
  • „Das Gras hier ist fast so weich wie am Brokeback“
  • „Sind das jetzt Cirrus oder Cummulus dort drüben?“
  • „Nächsten Sommer hol ich meinen Quali nach, dann ist Schluss mit dem Mist hier“

Come to Marlboro Country

The evergreen among cigarette commercials is not missing in our collection: Cowboys, horses, countryside – freedom. According to Philip Morris, manufacturer of Marlboro cigarettes and owner of one of the most valuable brands, men’s paradise lies just behind the vending machine. Take your cigarettes, get on the horse and into the hills.

Marlboro Country
"Come to Marlboro Country"1975 US ad campaign

There is more than the scent of freedom and cigarette smoke blowing over the hills. Since 2005, you may also feel the warming aura of real comradeship. What cinema visitor hasn’t experienced it: As soon as Marlboro Man is riding into view, pictures from “Brokeback Mountain” force themselves into the head. Ennis’ and Jack’s hopeless love couldn’t be more tragic than what is happening since to advertising strategists. Marlboro Man, the embodiment of male toughness, is now associated with cuddling cowboys. Cigarettes? No way, José – even though the two of them were smoking quite a lot. Marlboro Country? A real dilemma. I am curious, how Philip Morris and Marlboro get out of this. To anybody who wants to learn more about Marlboro-Man and the machinations of the tobacco industry, I recommend reading “Thank you for smoking” from Christopher Buckley. Clever, funny, hilarious – the book, not the movie.

Maybe you’ll also like another smoking post: Marloboro Man is musing